Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
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You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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