Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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