the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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