Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
