So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Semen is not good for contacts.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
