Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
