My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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