if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
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Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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