So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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