I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
