Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
