Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
