what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
