Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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