Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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