I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
