covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
