we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Randomize
