So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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