May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My bed smells like the plague
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