not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
