And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream