my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!