walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP