I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.