Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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