So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
