Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
