Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
