Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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