Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize