PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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