apparently the secret to your success is patron
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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