Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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