drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
