She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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