Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My ATM looks so different sober.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
