my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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