dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
