So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
