That's when you crack a 10am beer
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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