I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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