I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?