Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.

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  (512): he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success. http://tfl.nu/9rt5
  Replies (11) Good night (6795) Bad night (730)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.

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  (940): shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/kuio
  Replies (24) Good night (3012) Bad night (1001)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

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  (516): Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates. http://tfl.nu/it76
  Replies (7) Good night (596) Bad night (2315)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

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  (802): just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke! http://tfl.nu/q0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (7102) Bad night (2031)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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  (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me http://tfl.nu/1umx
  Replies (12) Good night (1075) Bad night (5758)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4078) Bad night (1110)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

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  (716): I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers http://tfl.nu/1krf
  Replies (12) Good night (3967) Bad night (845)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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  (360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z
  Replies (15) Good night (3862) Bad night (1339)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?

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  (240): planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you? http://tfl.nu/bdmu
  Replies (7) Good night (1482) Bad night (743)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....

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  (316): Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips.... http://tfl.nu/9ril
  Replies (3) Good night (1273) Bad night (712)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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  (513): I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny http://tfl.nu/yacg
  Replies (8) Good night (1260) Bad night (625)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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  (256): I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night. http://tfl.nu/42hk
  Replies (0) Good night (1314) Bad night (518)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.

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  (612): I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid. http://tfl.nu/jof2
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (284)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.

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  (540): This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/cdhc
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (510)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying

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  (225): Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying http://tfl.nu/s94h
  Replies (6) Good night (293) Bad night (348)

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