dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too