Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?