This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
