I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
