Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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