i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
