Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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