So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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