i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
