I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize