Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
