can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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