brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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