Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
