so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize