he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize