I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
