Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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