he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's not a walk of shame if you run
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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