You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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