just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
