I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
